the flip side

chasing Someday

A heartbreak detour a few months back had me scrambling for default mode. No matter how much I busied myself or how many plates I kept spinning, I couldn’t keep myself together. I couldn’t shake it. Someone had scaled my walls to really see me, opened up my mess and real-time thoughts yet was not overwhelmed by me, sat in my dirt and stayed for a while. Then he dared me to let everybody else into this Layne too, he swore they’d like her even more than they like the faraway one. I’ve heard this dare before; his was an echo of Someone Else’s all-my-life dare: Go ahead, My girl. Just be you already. I made you just-right. You’re Enough because I say so–and what I say goes.

So before I could backtrack or think twice, Abba did it again. He stole me away to the quiet where I’d hear…

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truth & a dare

chasing Someday

this one’s for my little sisters, who know I love Truth & a good dare

I think you’re special. In fact, I know so! My God swears you are, and what He says and thinks goes. You’re special. The God who spoke stars and tides and mountain ranges into existence in a split second took His time on you. You’re His finishing touch, His grand finale, His pride and all of His joy. The same hands that pioneered creativity itself created you. You were handcrafted by the best, with deep thought and divine attention to detail. His own breath turned dust to Life because He wanted a world with you in it. Your bear Glory’s signature; my God made you just right. He loves the you He handmade. So do I! I wish you loved her too.

I wish I could shake the insecurity and the not-enough right out…

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When You Finally Get a Yes.

The Crazy Beautiful Life of Me

The past few years of my life, so much of what has gotten me to where I am now has been “no’s”. No- you did not get into your dream school. No- that person does not want to be in your life. No- you did not get that job. No- you do not get to be healthy this year. And its not a negative thing- rather its every closed door that has helped guide me closer to who I am meant to be, and all of the happy things that have come into my life. However, when you go through a long period of no’s it isn’t easy. I mean lets be real, reaching a place in your life where you expect nothing less than disappointment about your dreams is a sad reality for so many people, including myself. And you trust that it is always for the best- but…

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Abba’s delight

chasing Someday

Give me a podium and an audience of wide-eyed little sisters and I’ve almost always got good words to say. I spend my days studying her heartbreak, her insecurities, her fears and doubts and dreams and all the names the world’s screaming her way. I’ll tell her the whole Truth. I’ll lock eyes with the brokenhearted and swear that she’s lovable. I’ll tell the wayward she’s welcome back Home. I’ll tell the ordinary she’s something special, the nobody she’s somebody, the too much or not enough that she was handmade just right. I’ll tell her God’s crazy about her, that His Love is priceless and hers for the taking. I’ll swear with everything in me that she is Beloved. Most days I feel made for this, but there are days when I run out of words.

There are days when I stake my Hope in my own qualifications or so-called…

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